The Adventures of Dyke Applebottom

etheraljaunt has enlightened me to the fact that friends-only posts do not allow anonymous commenting. Therefore, I am posting the contents of my last post publicly in case anyone was interested in participating in this meme (and btw, I totally think everyone should ^_^).

Meme:
Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Rant. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.

Post anonymously [by selecting the anonymous box]. Speak honestly, because there isn't any censure here. Post as many times as you like. One faceless wonder to another. You don't have to be on my friends list. You can just be stopping through. It doesn't matter.

And then, pass it on.

IP LOGGING HAS BEEN TURNED OFF




And as I said before, please feel absolutely free to write anything you want, whether it's about me, you, or life in general, and don't hold back. If you think I'm a freak/slut/potential homewrecker/loser/creep/whatever, you may say so here without offending me. Just go for it.

Please comment if you would like to be added. ^_^

So, my brother Sal has been reading my livejournal. He'd been saying that he was going to for a while now, but I didn't actually think that he would until the following conversation took place:

Sal: So, I've been reading up on your livejournal.
Me: No you haven't.
Sal: (Quoting) 'Gee, I hope Sal likes those Lemony Snickets books I got him.'
Me: Goddamnit.

Then, later on that day, he yelled up the staircase, "Jessica, you better come down and eat dinner, or else Mom will think you're on drugs!"

Therefore, I have decided to make my journal friends-only. I hate to do that, but I don't want to feel like I have to censor myself when I'm updating. Besides, it's probably better that way anyway. I don't particularly fancy the idea of random people from my real life reading my journal. I never really got over that weird anonymous comment someone left in my journal five or six months ago:

You are an intelligent, senstive girl. When did you start talking so tough, cursing? When you lost your virginiy? You told me you weren't like that and wanted to wait. Your Dad seems so sweet. Did you get like this from your mother? You should give up the dark side and go to church. Try it,you might like it.

WTF. They didn't even sign their name. I mean, it's not exactly that terrible of a thing to say or anything, but they could have signed their name.

So, yes. Friends-only from this point forward.

Do you ever get the feeling that you just shouldn't answer the phone? Do you ever answer it anyway and then immediately regret it?

My ex-boyfriend Matt just called. >_< If I'd known it was him, I wouldn't have answered, but his name didn't show up on the caller-ID. He said he was watching Lord of the Rings the other day, and it made him think of me. He gave me his cell phone number and said he'd like to hang out sometime. I said ok.

WHY CAN'T I JUST SAY NO?!! WHY CAN'T I EVER JUST FUCKING SAY NO?!!

He told me to call him on Monday or Tuesday this week. And I can't just not call, because I already said that I would. Fuck, he is just about the last person on this earth that I want to talk to. And why the Hell does he want to talk to me? We broke up two years ago, and he never really cared about me anyway. WTF.

Ugh. He's such an arrogant little bastard. When I picked up the phone, he was like, "Hey, it's me," like I'm just supposed to know who "me" is.

Psh.

Jerry Orbach died Tuesday night after battling prostate cancer for several weeks. He was 69. Full story here.



I can't believe he's gone. I mean, I knew that he was ill, but I just assumed that he would get better. I never imagined that he would actually die. This is such an awful surprise.

I think I'm going to cry.

Rest in peace, Jerry Orbach. You will be sorely missed.

I want to thank everyone (all three of you) who left comments in my last friends only post. They were definitely thought-provoking. I'll reply to them with my thoughts later, when I'm not so tired. (Lol, your comment didn't count, Spoon. You suck. Lame-ass.)

Anyway - Merry freaking Christmas!

I have finally gotten myself into the Christmas spirit. It took a Hell of a lot of cooking to get there, though. I spent most of the day in the kitchen, making homemade raviolis. It's tradition. Every Christmas, we have homemade raviolis, meatballs, sausage, and bracioles. We do all the cooking on the day before Christmas, and everyone helps out. Everyone. Even Mario (who fancies himself too manly to work in the kitchen - lol, maybe that's not true, but he jokes about it being "women's work" all the time). My arms are killing me from kneading and rolling the dough. And it's not that good, "I-just-worked-out" sort of hurt; it's that "Ow,-I-must-have-slept-on-my-arm-wrong-and-now-it-feels-like-it's-going-to-fall-off" sort of hurt. I'd never made all of the dough by myself before - I had no idea it was so hard.

I also have a very strong case of garlic breath currently - not just from our (also traditional) Christmas Eve dinner (home-made pizza (with lots of garlic in the sauce), scallops (cooked with garlic), cod, shrimp, and crab), but also from sampling the ravioli cheese filling all day. My mom puts a ton of garlic in it - it's so good.

After dinner tonight, we watched a televising of the midnight mass at our old chuch (St. Joan of Arc). It made me all nostalgic. I can't believe Father Larry is still there - he was my favorite priest. Lol, random memory: I remember when I was a little girl, he asked me one year what I was going to be for Halloween, and I said, "A socialist." I meant to say a socialite, but I didn't know the difference. I was so confused when he started laughing....in fact, I never really figured it out until years later.

So, get this - My brother Sal told me about a week ago what he wanted (but was unable) to get me for Christmas this year: an autographed poster of Richard Belzer (Detective John Munch). How awesome is that?! He placed a bid for it on Ebay, but he was outbid (drat!). So, he's getting me the book, "Conspiracies You Don't Have to be Crazy to Believe in," by Richard Belzer. I knew he was getting me this before he even knew, because I picked it out, lol. Isn't that terrible? I was at Barnes and Noble with my mom, buying books 1 and 2 of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" for Sal for Christmas, and I came across "Conspiracies...", and I said (after the obligatory smiles and sighs, of course), "Hey, this is the book I told Sal to get me for Christmas!" So my mom was like, "Oh, really? Well, give it to me, I'll buy it for him." And I was like, "Well, what if he doesn't want to get that for me?" And she was like, "I'm sure he will." So she bought it. ^_^

Hehe, there are these wonderful pictures of the Belz on the bookcover. They're so cute, even if they are rather unflattering. He really is an ugly man. But I love the way he looks. Ugly men are just so hot. I don't know why. Maybe I am unbalanced.

I can't wait to open up the dr. martens waiting for me under the tree (even though I feel bad that my mom bought them for me, because they're so expensive). I was at the mall with my mom, shopping for my sister, and we knew that she wanted dr. martens, so I was picking some out for her (thank goodness I went along to help - my mom wanted to get her the girly kind. When I picked out the cool ones, my mom was like, "Those are men's! She won't want those!"), and I guess I was really getting into it, because my mom was like, "Do you want a pair too?" And I was like, "*blush* What? No - they're really expensive, and I already have a pair." And she was like, "Yeah, but yours are pretty old," which is true - I've been wearing them since I was 12 years old. So she bought me a pair. ^_^ They're gorgeous - they're red, and steel-toed, and made in England, not China (unlike most dr.'s that you find these days). I thought about picking out the black ones, because they were very Daria-esque (at least, more-so than any of the boots I currently own), but the red ones were just too cool.

I better go to bed now so I can wake up tomorrow morning. I hope Sal likes the Lemony Snicket books I got him. I know everyone else in my family will like what I got them, but he's the only one who refused to tell me what to get him. So I improvised. I really think he'll like them, though. I mean, he loved Harry Potter, and he's been sitting up in my room reading my copy of "The Princess Bride" recently, so it's not like he's "above" reading children's books. Lol, when my brother Mario found out that he was reading "The Princess Bride" today, he was like, "What? The Princess what? We need to get that kid some "Die Hard." Stat."

(Incidentally, Sal is upset, because the last 30 pages somehow got torn out of my copy of "The Princess Bride," and he's reached the end and he wants to know what happens. But, of course, he would never actually buy the book himself, so he's kinda screwed. Hahaha, it's kind of sad.)

Eek, I just heard noises downstairs, which scared me, because it sounded like someone was walking upstairs. I've never been up this late the night before Christmas before. What if Santa Clause IS real, but he's evil, and the reason you have to be in bed before he gets here is so he won't kill you??? Lol, I keep imagining this really deformed, evil, scary-looking guy in red pressing his face up against my window (because I still don't have any shades up).

I get scared way too easily.

I just wrote a somewhat lengthy friends-only post. I just wanted to announce that for people like Jesse who never log in before they go through their friends list.

I wish there was more time in the day.......Oh, wait, that's right - I just need to stop being such a lazy idiot and actually get off my ass and do things when they need to be done.

This is cute: Stripper Snape

I'm so tired - I'm going to go to bed now so I can wake up in 5 hours and go to work, where I will daydream about hot men and try not to get caught sleeping in the files.


~~~~~~~
Quote-of-the-day:
"Have a very pervy Christmas." - Conan O'Brien

I just got done talking to a fellow Sir Morick fan over Yahoo IM.

Good day today.

James presented me with a Christmas present: a Doc Ock tentacle, with a box of Trojan Magnum condoms nestled inside. ^_^ Haha, I <3 it. James always gives the best presents. Yay for tentacle rape.

Then, we went to the movies to see "Ocean's 12." It's not exactly the best movie I've ever seen. But, man, is George Clooney hot. And, really, does anything else matter? We also saw a preview for the movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." Angelina Jolie looked amazing. I may have to see the movie just for her.

After the movie, we went to Barnes and Noble. I wanted to look at Richard Belzer's book on conspiracy theories, but they didn't have it. James wandered off to look at journals, so I decided to sneak up behind him to scare him. Hah. Bad idea. He flew into fight mode and spun around and punched me in the face. It surprised me so much that I cried out, and everyone in the store turned around to look at me. Egads, I was so embarassed. I don't think I've ever been so loud in a public place before. Man, I should have known better than to sneak up on a psychopath like James.

Then we went to James' house. We watched the end of Law & Order: SVU (in which there was hardly any Munch - grrr!), and then James showed me some Strong Bad cartoons on the net. He taught me a bit about chainmail, too. I want to make a chainmail hauberk, but I'm not sure if I have the patience for it. Making chainmail seems to be the kind of thing that could drive someone insane. Sooo tedious.

Now I am home, so I am going to go to bed. This post was really boring, wasn't it. Eh, whatever. Freak you. Freak you all. I'm trying to stop using the f word so much. I don't know why, really. I mean, I don't really use it that much, do I? Huh. You know what? Fuck! There. I feel better now.

Can you tell that I'm really, really tired right now?

I'm going to go to bed now.....

*passes out*

I just finished reading one of the most depressing fanfictions I have ever read. It made me sob. God, poor Harry. I hope he doesn't really turn out like that. Lifeless. Drained. Exhausted from the long war against the Dark side. Nothing more than a shell of a human. *weeps*

This is what I get for searching out Lucius/Hermione smut fics.

Ack. One half hour left for bidding on the Chucky doll. Stay strong, Jessica. Don't do it. You need money for Christmas shopping.

Huh. I'm wondering if the man putting up the auction is Jay, Brad's agent....because his username is "jdawg," and, well, his name is Jay. Jay Robb. Hmmmm.....

I sent him an email asking if he would be putting the item back up for bidding after the auction if no one bid on it. He said, "I'm not 100% sure. Thanks for you interest." Crap. I hope he does.

I am so tempted to buy this Chucky doll. It is so realistic and so sexy. It's also $75.

0_0

...Ok, Jessica, step away from the computer. No more ebay for you. Ebay=bad.

I better go to bed before I do something stupid.

Oh, and someone claiming to be Alex Vincent (Andy Barclay) is selling a couple Chucky dolls, too. Says he hates to part with them but he's hit some pretty rough times, and that he'll sign the box with a personalized autograph to the winning bidder. Hmmm. I wonder if it's really him.....

Oh, wow. Ben - how did they know???

The Scary Truth About Your Friends (eddie izzard style) by Mellifera
username
Wants a "cup of coffee"	dusc
Hides their makeup in a tree	whiskeycharlie
Vegetarian painter	hidden_tigrus
Was on the moon with Steve	chubbyjenny
Poked a badger with a spoon	silencing
Puts babies on spikes	duct_tape_hero
Can run about in heels and not fall over	palespring
Under house arrest	etheraljaunt
Carries a brick in their handbag	lemmealone
Never played Risk as a kid	audacity101
Ich bin ein Berlinner	feochadan
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Hehehe. Ahh, memories. Do you still have that baby-on-a-spike? I would totally buy it off you.

( Behind the cut: Big Ben's survey/science experiment and a Which-Brad-Dourif-character-are-you? quiz result )

So, anyway, I was sitting in my room on Monday, registering for classes for the Spring semester, when my brother Sal came in and plopped down on my bed.

Sal: You don't watch Law & Order anymore, do you.
Me: Yes I do.
Sal: Well, you missed a new episode tonight.
Me: Nuh-uh. New episodes are on Tuesdays. And they're not even playing new episodes again until January.
Sal: No, it was a special. And it had Munch, and he was all like, "MmmmHmmmm. *crosses arms* If you get this question right, I'll take my shirt off."
Me: Lol. Nuh-uh.
Sal: Uh-Huh. But then people started throwing up, so they had to take it off the air.

Hahaha. If only. That would be one Hell of a special.

Incidentally, I have decided to minor in English Literature. I was torn among that, English Linguistics, and Women's Studies. After careful thought, I must say that I think I made a wise choice. Although....Women's Studies would have been quite cool - especially paired with a journalism degree. Yeah. Journalism major + Women's Studies minor = ingredients for one Hell of a crusading feminist. Eh? How cool would that be?

All right, then. Bedtime. I'm so tired.

Later on, I need to make a post about my academic performance this last semester. It's quite important, I feel.

I meant to write an update tonight elaborating on that last post I made. But.....I got drunk with Mike and Spoon instead. So much fun.

Maybe tomorrow?.........All right, then. Tomorrow.

*passes out*

Oh.My.God. I am such a geek. Kill me. Just fucking kill me! ACCKK!!!!!

More later.

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Jessica
-- Birth date: 12-31-1982
-- Birthplace: Lansing, Michigan, USA
-- Current Location: Phoenix, AZ
-- Eye Color: Brown
-- Hair Color: Currently blonde (with almost an inch of brown roots)
-- Height: 5'4''
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: 1/2 Scandinavian (Finnish), 1/2 Mediterreanean (Italian)
-- The shoes you wore today: slippers
-- Your fears: Talking to people I don't know.........and eternal hellfire.
-- Your perfect pizza: I like variety.

-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Become drastically less shy

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AOL/MSN/YAHOO IM's: "LOL"
-- First thoughts when waking up: "Oh, fuck."
-- Your best physical feature: I like my eyebrows...
-- Your bedtime: Anytime from midnight to 6 am.
-- Your most cherished memory: I'd rather not discuss it at this time.

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Fuck that. Gimme generic soda - it's all the same. "Soda purists" piss me off. Picky bastards.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's
-- Single or group dates: depends on the date
-- Adidas or Nike: Doc Martens
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Ehh...
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Yes, please!

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: I once took a couple puffs off a cigar. It was nice - I liked it.
-- Cuss: Much more often than I should.
-- Sing: badly.
-- Take a shower everyday: Yes. Unless I wake up late.
-- Have a crush(es): Hahahaha......oh yeah.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Yes.
-- Went to go to college (or want to): am currently in college
-- Like(d) high school: about as much as I liked riding to school with Stephen this semester.....except high school did have at least a couple good points.
-- Want to get married: Not sure
-- Believe in yourself: about as much as I believe in Santa Clause
-- Get motion sickness: sometimes, but not badly
-- Think you're attractive: sometimes
-- Think you're a health freak: Hell no.
-- Get along with your parent(s): Eh.
-- Like thunderstorms: I adore them.
-- Play an instrument: I used to play the violin.

LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Oh yeah.
-- Smoked: No.
-- Done a drug: Alleve
-- Had Sex: No.
-- Made Out: No. *sigh*
-- Gone on a date: What, are you trying to kill me here?
-- Gone to a club: No
-- Drank a martini: No - I've never had one. I would very much like to try one someday.
-- Eaten sushi: Mmmmm. Many times.
-- Been on stage: No
-- Been dumped: No
-- Gone skating: No
-- Made homemade cookies: No
-- Gone skinny dipping/chunky dunking: No
-- Dyed your hair: No
-- Stolen anything: No

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Fuck no
-- If so, was it mixed company: ---
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Lol. Oh yeah. Good times.
-- Been caught "doing something": Uhhh....."doing something"? Why, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.
-- Been called a tease: Yes. Dirty bastard.
-- Gotten beaten up: No.
-- Shoplifted: No
-- Changed who you were to fit in: I can't remember.....I probably did a little.

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: No sooner than 28, hopefully.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: Little Horatio and Antoinette...and Eowyn.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Not sure - believe it or not, I don't spend all my time dreaming about my wedding day *gasp*. I also don't sit around dreaming about how, some day, my prince will come and wisk me away to his castle in the clouds..... Oh no's, I guess I'm not a real girl after all!
-- How do you want to die: I don't want to die.
-- What did you want to be when you grow up? I always wanted to be some sort of crusading feminist. In fact, when I was a little girl, I decided that my life would be wasted if I didn't contribute something to the feminist movement.
-- What do you actually do? Well, I'm still a student.
-- What country would most like to visit? Hmmm...England. Or New Zealand.

LAYER NINE:
In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color? I've always been partial to brown, but blue is quite nice, too.
-- Best hair color? For the longest time, I was all about the brunettes. But all of a sudden, I love blondes! I think it started with Sir Morick.
-- Short or long hair: Long. Omg, long. The next guy I date WILL have long hair, damnit (if indeed I ever date again *weeps*).
-- Height: Not taller than 6'. It's too awkward when kissing, otherwise.
-- Ideal body type: Hehe. I have a wide range of tastes. Anything from twig to slight man-boobs. Oh, yeah - I'm all about the man-boobs. Mmm.
-- Best articles of clothing: Very long jackets are nice.
-- Best first date location: Depends on the date. I mean, I'm not going to take a Lucius Malfoy to the movies, heh heh heh *perv*......I don't mean that.....I'm partial to getting coffee.
-- Best first kiss location: I'm not picky.

LAYER TEN:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: None
-- Number of people i could trust with my life: a few
-- Number of CDs that I own: 58, unless I miscounted.
-- Number of piercings: None, but I would really like to change that. I've been wanting to get my ears pierced for years.
-- Number of tattoos: None. Maybe someday I'll get some Elvish script around my ankle.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the
newspaper?: Well, I used to write for a newspaper, so quite a few!
-- Number of scars on my body: Too many to count
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: More than 3, but less than 10. Well...maybe more than 10......I'm not sure.

Well. That was fun! Was it good for you?

 

~~~~~~

Quote-of-the-Day: "The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution." - Dumbledore

I have exactly two hours to write a 3-page essay on a subject I know nothing about. Wish me luck.

Got this from x_ariadne_x ^__^


You are the loner. Quiet and Secretive. You are the
mysterious girl that most dont know about and
many are scared to. Though you seem to be an
emotionless shell, it is to the contrary, you
are probably very artistic and creative. To bad
most don't understand you.


Which Female Anime Stereotype are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Today was a good day. James showed me how to use a battle ax. He kept me outside in the freezing rain for 40 minutes to practice striking planks of wood until I finally was able to make the tiniest of dents (hey, stop judging me - the blade was dull). It was cool. At first, I hated it, because I am really restrained with this sort of thing, and I just couldn't let myself give it my all (I have this weird issue with moving my body in unfamiliar ways - I just feel really shy and uncertain about it). But towards the end, I really started to enjoy it. In fact, I would really like to do it again sometime - I would like to see if I could actually chop the wood.

I can't decide if I should go the the One Ring Celebration (the Lord of the Rings convention to take place in CA in January - http://www.oneringcelebration.com). For a while I was saying that I was definitely going to go, even if I had to go alone. But.....that was before Brad Dourif cancelled. I would still love to go (especially to meet (and possibly hug? ^_^) Billy Boyd), but....eh. I don't know. I mean, Elijah Wood, Billy, and Sean Astin are charging freakin' $60 per autograph, and $50-$60 to get your picture taken with them. What the crap. That's crazy-expensive. Plus, I'd be lonely all by myself in a strange town. On the other hand, I do think it would be good for me to go by myself. I've never done anything like that before, and the idea almost terrifies me. I would have to make all the preparations all by myself and take initiative, and that would be a very good experience for me - it would make me realize that I can be independent and I can make things happen for myself. It might even turn out to be something of a confidence-booster for me (unless I fuck up majorly, which is possible).

Hmmmm.....I need to decide soon so I can start saving up money.....and buy tickets. The tickets to get your picture taken with Elijah Wood have already sold out *grrr face*, and I'm guessing Billy's will be next to go.

So, Friday didn't turn out to be quite as awesome as I thought it would be - I didn't get to see the Munchkin because I didn't get to park in the garage *grrr!!!* There was this lame-ass arts festival going on near the university, and so, of course, all the old fogeys who went decided to park in the campus parking lots. I was so pissed off. And then, every one of them had the nerve to smile at me as I drove past them. I gave them all dirty looks. Normally, I really like old people, but when they park in my parkings spots (yes, I said MY parking spots), they must die.

However, the day was redeemed through the Chucky photoshoot. It was so very enjoyable. Man, I tell ya, Chucky got quite a bit of play - from both sides of the field! Well, maybe "quite a bit" is stretching it, but I'm sure it's more than he's used to. Hah, that's a lie - after all, he sleeps in the same bed with me everynight... We even took him to a bar for a drink and some shuffleboard. Consequently, he now smells horribly of cigarette smoke. But it was worth it just for the looks I got when I walked in with a Chucky doll in my hands (being as shy as I am, it's hard to believe that I actually enjoy those looks...but, strangely, I do).

Here are just a few pictures from Chucky's adventures on Friday.


Caught in the act - a young man is heartbroken when he discovers his lover's secret past-time: dressing up like Tiff and making out with Chucky.

( More here )



~~~~~~
Quote-of-the-day: "Sappy songs about sex and cheating, bland accounts of two lovers meeting.....makes me want to give mankind a beating." - The Dresden Dolls

Bought Spiderman 2 today. Am currently watching it.

Meee-owww.

Tomorrow will be a good day. First off, I get to drive myself to school instead of riding with Stephen. Second, I get to see the Munchkin. Third, I'm going to conduct a photo shoot with my Chucky doll for palespring's Chucky photo contest. ^__^ Mike and Michelle have agreed to model for me, and Jesse just called and told me that he wants to get in on the action, too. Eeee, it's going to be so much fun.

*gets distracted by Doc Ock's shiny tentacles* Mmmmm. Oh, this is such bliss...

Does anyone remember the movie "Maverick"? ^__^ Everytime Doc Ock comes on screen, my brother yells out, "Look at your cards. Look at your goddamn cards!" Lolz.

*looks back at tv screen* Why am I still typing? Clearly, my attention is needed elsewhere.

*leaves*



~~~~~~~~
Quote-of-the-day:
"Go get 'em, Tiger."